November 15, 2012 Update – Enough! Take up the Shield of Faith

No worse sound could be heard by the enemies of Sparta than the sound of thousands of their bronze shields banging together as their leader shouted, “Spartans, lock shields!”  For the Spartan Warriors, no greater offensive weapon could be utilized than his shield.  It was a disgrace to even drop a shield in battle, let alone lose it.  Most of their enemies used shields defensively, and they were made of much cheaper materials. The Spartan Shield, however, cost the family a fortune. It was made of bronze, and since soldiers were paired with family, mentors, or best friends, it must be made of the strongest material for their protection also.

 Their shield was so valuable to the family that the wife or mother would hand her soldier his shield and give him this request, “return to me my love, either with this shield or on this shield,” for their shields bore the family or Spartan symbol.  When the wars were localized, Spartans used their shields to carry home their dead.  In battle the shield not only protected the soldier in front, but also to the rear and to their right.  Long spears protruded out on top, below and on the side of the shield, allowing soldiers to push the enemy back, forcing them to fight going backward.

No wonder the Apostle Paul tells us to take up the Shield of Faith as it is a great and mighty weapon.  The author of Hebrews tells us, by faith, “Gideon, Barak, Samson Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised. They shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength;  became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. Women received back their dead, raised to life again.”

However, many also returned on their Shields, “There were others who were tortured, refusing to be released so that they might gain an even better resurrection.  Some faced jeers and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment.  They were put to death by stoning; they were sawed in two; they were killed by the sword…the world was not worthy of them…These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.”

In Revelations 5 we find that “The Lion of the Tribe of Judah” conquered and was worthy to bring judgment and salvation.  So, for the Gray family, the Lion is our family Shield symbol.  We are a warrior family and identify with Jesus as our great Captain, able to deliver us from satan’s attacks and lead us to victory.  The Lion (Jesus) has devoured our drug addiction, illness, suffering, despair and hopelessness.  He has also licked our wounds, and healed us, restoring us and giving us rest. Before my illness,  Carolyn and I fought valiantly for the lives of drug addicts and others caught in satan’s snares, and we miss the battle and long to return and be used in the battle for souls.  Our son, as a YWAM missionary, fights with the same tenacity as we did taking up his Shield of Faith for those overseas.

However, we are totally exhausted in this fight and sometimes I feel like I have had enough!!!!  Like that iconic hero, Popeye the Sailor, “I have had all I can stands and I can’t stands no more!”  Popeye's having had enough, caused him to double down, eat his spinach and defeat Brutus.  I too am extremely tired of pain and suffering, and Carolyn and Aaron suffer with me.  Like the Spartans in battle, I am paired with my wife, Carolyn, who is behind me pushing me forward while fighting her battles, and Aaron, our son, who constantly holds us up prayer as he battles his own weariness of this disease. We are all exhausted and need you to “lock shields” with us to help push us forward. 

For those of you on our right, we need you to commit to praying for us at least once per day; others once per week.  For those on our left we need a financial commitment. When we receive donations to our NFT (National Foundation for Transplants)  the money is held for us until we submit receipts for treatment that we have paid out of pocket. We have a three month window to submit receipts.  If they are older than three months, we cannot be reimbursed.  Currently we have approximately three thousand dollars worth of receipts.  Approximately one thousand dollars are approaching expiration. If we raise at least one thousand dollars, we would not lose reimbursement.  If we could raise three thousand dollars, we would have enough to the end of the year.  We know this is a lot of money, and there are so many worthy ministries; but we also know we serve a big God and that He will return to you a hundred fold.

Please consider a support gift of ANY size knowing it can only be used for our transplant and disease treatment.  We believe we are good stewards of God’s bounty, and will receive our dreams fulfilled of having a greater impact in our latter years than in our former.  I am willing to return to ministry with my Shield or on my Shield of Faith, as we trust in our Mighty Leader for the final outcome of this trial.

 

We thank you in advance for "locking shields" with us knowing that you will continue to pray about and for us.  Your prayers are felt in the battle, you may never know how you have carried us through so many battles, but we certainly couldn't do it without you!

With Much Love and Respect,
Mike, Carolyn and Aaron

 

9/23/12 Update – The Value of Human Life

How do we measure how much a human is worth?  Our bank accounts, our achievements, our linage, age, or our potential?  I have to think about this, and I hope that you never will.  You see, if I get another liver transplant, someone else won’t; and they will die.  Is my life worth more than theirs?  I was asked by the chief transplant surgeon not to put my name on the list because I have already lived way longer than most, have had a wonderful life, and my survival rate is only 50/50 (first transplants are about 95%).  Well, what if the person I am giving up my life for is an alcoholic or drug addict and will just waste their life and mine?  I will build our Lord’s Kingdom (I).  What if?  We can come up with a hundred what ifs.

You see, I just lost another friend on the transplant list.  That makes five I have known well, some for a life time, that have died waiting for that precious gift of life.  I would give up mine for any of them.  But, that is because I knew them and their potential; I am not a martyr, I have had my chance and would love to give them theirs.  But what if they were….

There is a 23 year old autistic boy who needs a heart transplant, but the surgeons won’t do it because of his autism.  Yes, he will never run a company, be financially well off, won’t graduate college, or be a sports hero.  He will be, well, just a human being!  The surgeons stated that if there were enough organs to go around it would not be an issue, as they would not have to set a value on his life.  So, please, please, please, if you have not already become an organ donor; become an organ donor!  The life you save may be my own!!!!!!  Sorry to digress.  Also, if you would like to support this young man’s cause and assert his value, click the link provided.

Now, one last thing on value; my second cousin was born mentally challenged (that is hard for me to say because I don’t think of her that way).  Her family would tell you that life without her would not be the same.  My grand nephew was born with the only handicap of being part Gray!  However, as a little baby, one of his caretakers (not in our family or family’s care) beat his head in and then smothered him almost to death.  At this point we don’t know what will be the lasting effects of this trauma.  

However, they both can do something I could never do; light up a room just by entering it!  They each have a special ability to communicate love, acceptance, and peace just by interacting with you as they are unable to speak.  How do we measure that valuable trait?  Everywhere they go, it appears that they bring comfort to those around them and it is amazing to see how many people know them.

With knowing these two, my heart aches for the mother who must watch her baby boy die just because he has autism.  He is worth so much more than we can ever believe, as God so loved the world (not just the healthy, strong, smart, and athletic) that He gave His only Son to die for us and them.  He loves us with so much love we are unable to fathom the height, depth, length and width of His amazing Love.

Click here to hear how much God loves us.

So, what are we to do?  First, pray for these three precious angels that our Father will continue to bless them and their parents with abundance of joy.  Pray for my grand nephew’s complete recovery, and my second cousin’s continued health.  Pray also for this autistic boy that the surgeons will change their attitudes of the “Value of Human Life” and give him the transplant.  Also, become an organ donor and do what it takes in your state to maintain that status.  And, finally, pray that I will not need another transplant so the burden of making this decision will be lifted and some else will get a chance to be as blessed as I have been.

You are so valuable to me and to God,

With Much Love and Respect,
Mike
Click here to ask the surgeons to transplant this autistic boy.

Update 09/01/12 Ramblin' Man

I stated in the last post that this post would be about how blessed I am.  I had all these scriptures ready to share on the BeAttitudes of being blessed.  However, if you permit me to ramble a little bit, I will share with you a different version of how blessed I really am as a result of what has happened last Friday and Saturday.  I have always known how alive God’s Word is, but today (Saturday), I experienced this for myself.

You see, Friday was a very bad day.  I called my Transplant Coordinator to beg her to give me at least seven days of reprieve from my third medicine which is giving me the most trouble.  However, she said no.  I was so bummed.  I really wanted/needed relief.  So, I went to my room, shut out the lights and laid there feeling really sorry for myself.  Then Aaron came home and we talked about the Kingdom for a long time.  Seeing his love, not only for God, but God's Kingdom, gave me such joy and comfort, I was able to go to sleep to forget the pain.

Saturday morning Aaron and I went to the "Christian Surfers Daisy Paddle Out" to raise money for Daisy, Al Merrick’s granddaughter, who has to raise $500,000 for cancer treatment.  Chandler Brownlee picked us up and took us to the beach.  Well, the dredge had added a 100 yards of sand to the beach.  Before, I could just go down the stairs and into the ocean.  Now, 100 yards of sand was “a bridge too far.”  I went there to support Christian Surfers and add a picture of chemo-therapy for people to give more, but now I had to be carried to the beach, pulled out on the board, and pulled at least a half mile down the beach, and carried back.  My anemia took all the power out of my blood.

While in Teen Challenge, my favorite Spanish song was “Hay Poder en la Sangre;” (There is Power in the Blood).  I learned that first hand Saturday morning.  First, the Red blood cells carried me to the beach and brought me nourishment and strength; the White cells surrounded me and protected me from falling and getting hurt.  The Power in the Blood came from Jesus through His Body to build up what was lacking in my own blood.  Blessed?  Did I say how blessed I am?

However, I wrote the above Saturday afternoon, by night fall things took a very bad turn,  I then went for blood work, CAT Scan, mini-colonoscopy, and met with my transplant coordinator.  Results; side effects.  Still wouldn’t cut back my meds.  However, increased pain did not change the fact that I am blessed: my wife and son love God and His Kingdom more than their own lives; they love and support me more than I deserve.  My sisters and cousins all love Jesus; my friends are mentors and Kingdom minded.  Our home group prays for us and are available to help anytime we ask.  Our neighbors contstantly pray for us and bring us treats, especially chocolate. (See picture of recent visit by our great neighbors.)

So, here we are, a week later with one more week to go.  We can do this, but truly I will need your prayers and support to make it another week.  Then, I will have 36 more weeks to go!!!!!  Please pray that I will be able to make it and that the side effects will stop when dropping this one medication.  Either way, I will still be blessed.

With much Love and Respect,

Mike 

P.S.  Praise God the CT scan and biopsy were fine.  They believe the pain is caused by the meds and hopefully gone when medication is over.

Poster Boy? Mike's 8-23-12 Update

If my mom was still alive she would be really proud of me: I am now the HepC Triple Therapy Poster Boy!!!!  If you read my last blog, “A little Cheese with my Whine, Please,” you would know how brutal this chemo therapy has been on me.  However, my transplant coordinator just informed us that we are doing much better than the other ten in my group.  As you know, I cleared the HepC virus in record time, my blood work is slowly improving, I am not throwing up, having multiple transfusions, or have horrible rashes or vertigo, and I am alive (one isn’t)!  Also, I have not missed an injection or any pill dosages, and I have managed to maintain my weight.  Of course, she gave all the credit to Carolyn, as do I, to God, and to all of you who have supported us in prayer and financially.

This honorable designation is my pay back for whining; you see I complained about the leg cramps when others don’t have legs!  The Apostle Paul stated, “in everything give thanks, for this is God’s will concerning you.”  We don’t give thanks “for” everything but “in” everything.  A couple of things here; no matter how bad we think we have it, someone else has it worse.  And, those who have it worse may be receiving a huge blessing at the end, or a bigger reward in heaven, maybe never realizing the reward for their suffering here on earth (Heb. 11).   We don’t always know why we are suffering, but that suffering time is set by God as well as a good reason.  Should we not trust God that He knows what He is doing when we don’t see it?

This reminds me of a battle that would determine the history of the Jews. The battle was won because, as Moses was suffering the pain of muscle cramps and fatigue while holding up his rod, Aaron and Hur grabbed his arms and held them up until the Jews were victorious in battle.  He experienced a victory that changed the course of Jewish history.  He was rewarded because he did not give up no matter what the pain;  he blessed God in the pain, and received help through the pain. I also feel I am held up by your prayers, and experience a victory that would not otherwise be possible.   Moses never got to ‘see’ his victory realized when his people entered into the promised land.  Nonetheless, the plan of God was perfect and accomplished His purposes.  I know and believe God's purposes will also be accomplished in my life.

Take heart; although it may appear that what we are going through is for nothing, God’s plan for us is full of so much love, that He would never waste a single tear.  I consider myself one of the most blessed men on earth.  The next update will explain why I am so blessed.  As usual, let us know how we can pray for you as you are kind enough to pray for us.  Carolyn and I pray daily for the needs we hear of from you.

With much love and respect,

Mike

A Little Cheese With My Whine, Please!

Yes, I am going to whine.  Why?  To prevent you from possibly falling victim to the same trap I fell in.  First, to whine!  My body feels like I was hit with a Mack truck; my nervous system feels like heroin withdrawals; my stomach is extremely nauseous and my large intestine feels like it is full of molten lava.  When the volcano erupts, which is three to six  times a day, I have yelped, shed a tear, and moaned loudly.  I also have fevers, chills, and other types of random side effects.  However, with all the pain and suffering described above, there is nothing to be compared to the last side effect: anemia.  Anemia is a lack of red blood cells and causes unbelievable, overwhelming fatigue.  Many times I am unable to hold my head up, walk more than 20 ft., and it brings more brain fog.  Although I have to self inject a drug to reverse this condition,  it has only slowed down the progress, but has not reversed it.  I am literally helpless!

Many of you also deal with life controlling problems, broken relationships, failed businesses, and other overwhelming life impacting catastrophes that don’t seem to be controlled by conventional methods.  It is not that I am complaining, mind you, it is that Carolyn noticed a change in my countenance.  Although I was not complaining any more than I usually do (which is a lot!!!!), it was that I seemed to have lost my joy, and she asked if I had read the Word or prayed to our Father.  I had not.  You see my spirit was anemic; I had let my physical ailments dictate my spiritual condition.  This only compounded the problem, as now I was battling all this on my own.  We were not made to be without God’s loving Spirit; the same Spirit that Jesus said is the great Comforter and Helper whom He would send when He left.

Please do not be like me and let circumstances dictate our behavior.  If you are struggling with a difficult situation , take the time to pray and nourish yourself on God’s Word and watch how God can work the impossible.  Also, get together for prayer with someone else to help carry the load.  I can’t tell you how much having Carolyn and Aaron praying for me,  and loving me through this has meant to me.  And, for those of you who  have prayed for me, I would like to pray for you, so let us know your prayer request and we will add you to our list.  My final thought is loving community; I belong to a home group that spoils us rotten.  The Word is so true for us not to forget the assembly of ourselves.

As always, thank you all for your prayers and support; without it we would not have been able to continue so strongly.

Many, many Blessings,

Mike

ZERO (An Update from Mike)

To all my wonderful family and friends,

Most of us, including myself, have read all the wonderful stories in the New Testament of Jesus healing the sick.  Most of us never realize the impact and significance of those healings, and I for one am glad you have not had to go through a life-long tragic disease to understand what it is like to be healed of such a dreaded sickness.  Like the woman who had a blood disorder that spent all she had for years on cures, or the paralytic next to the Pool of Siloam who waited years for someone to help him into the water, or the lepers’ cast out because of their skin disease, I have suffered with HepC for 22 years now.  What is it truly like to be healed of such a malady?  I now know!!!!!  After suffering horrible pain, fatigue, and nausea, after losing my job, my retirement and savings, after watching two of my very best friends die from HepC, after enduring a liver transplant, after putting my family and friends through hell watching me suffer, I am now HepC free with zero count of the virus in my body, zero!

Yesterday, my transplant coordinator called us and said, “Mr. Gray, you have beaten the odds and now are HepC zero count virus free.”  Odds/smodds, we know there are no odds, but a loving Father who heeded all of our prayers and healed me.  After recovering from the shock, I went into my bedroom to praise and worship the God who loves me, but instead after about 10 minutes began to sob uncontrollably for about 20 minutes until my sister called, and even then, took a little while to stop crying.  I continue crying off and on throughout the day as the reality is still sinking in.  I am healed.  Now I know why the cripple jumped up and down shouting and praising God when Peter and John pulled him up.  I really know!  It is one thing to know about God, it is vastly different to know the God who loves us; to experience who He is first hand.

Unfortunately, I still have to remain on the Triple Interferon Therapy for another 44 weeks.  Please be praying that by God's mercy I can be taken off this therapy sooner! But now, as the Book of Revelations tells us how we win in the end- I win in the same way!  I am still extremely sick with side effects from the treatment, but it is a little easier now to endure knowing the outcome is assured.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your prayers and support of our family year after year.  I could never thank any of you enough, from Tom Stansbury who risked his life to save mine, to the person who prayed for us when we came to mind.  To all of you; thank you.

July 12 Update on Mike's Treatment

Hello Family and Friends,

We just received more news on Mike's bloodwork.  He is holding his own.  His bloodwork has either stayed the same, or improved slightly with the exception of a single liver function test.   This is not surprising when you think of how much medication his poor liver has to process.  We are grateful that through your prayers the Lord is holding back multiple side effects that many patients are experiencing.

His main symptom right now is extreme fatigue, causing him to rest and sleep most of the day. However, this is a good thing towards his healing.

Aaron has learned and experienced the mighty power of intercessory prayer through YWAM.  Mike and I have also caught the vision of how God works through prayer.  We would love to pray for YOU and any specific prayer needs you have.

Please email Mike at mgfishes@bellsouth.net  for any prayer requests and if you do not want to be specific, just send them as a "private prayer request".  You and God know what they are.  We will keep a journal and pray specifically for you and record how and when He answered your prayer.  (Maybe not the way you presumed, but He always answers, and in retrospect, it always works out for the best).

Mike cannot do much right now, but HE CAN PRAY.   We know that almost everyone has something they need in their lives.  From tragic to minor circumstances, the needs are always there.  Please allow us to give back to you as you have given so much to us.  We are so grateful to all of you for your continued prayers and financial support!

With love and blessings,
Mike, Carolyn and Aaron

Praises and Prayer Requests

Hey friends and family!

Just a little update regarding what is going on with Mike.

The Hep C count per blood sample keeps going down!!!  The last count was listed as between 7 and 43 Hepatitis C cells.

However, his red blood cell count is decreasing due to the medication.  To avoid a blood transfusion, he has to inject himself with a new medication once a week starting tonight.  Our prayers are this medication will increase his red blood cell count and that he will NOT encounter serious side effects such as allergic reaction, stroke, kidney failure and even more common as headache, chills, fever and nausea.

In addition, his blood pressure has been high and he has had to double his medication for that, as well.

We are continually praising God for what He is doing in Mike's body and our family.  He is so faithful in how he sustains us and lives through us.  We are so thankful for all of your prayers!

-In His loving care,
The Grays

Rejoice and Be Glad!

Hi friends and family!

Great news!!!  When Mike started treatment one week ago, his HCV Viral Load Count (Hepatitis C Count) was 730,000.  Today we received word that his Viral Load was 640 count of the virus.  That's 640- NOT 640,000!  That's 640!  This count is considered undetectable!  In one week it appears God has cleared the virus from Mike through this medicine.  WHOO-HOO!

He did his second injection last night with minimal side effects lasting through the day.  So, far he has not experienced additional expected side effects, other than fatigue.  We consider this a MIRACLE and direct answer to YOUR PRAYERS!

We are still continuing treatment and another count will verify the numbers to be true.  Another test will probably be scheduled in a few weeks to confirm this information.  Please continue to pray and REJOICE as we believe the Lord is answering our prayers, honoring our gratitude to Him and healing Mike!

His blood work is looking good except for his platelet count which looks very low.  This is due to the medication which could cause Anemia.  His current platelets are 51,000.  If platelet counts reach 45,000, it is considered dangerous and possible blood transfusions might be needed.  Normal numbers are anywhere between 130,000-400,000.  So please be praying over this gap in platelet counts.

We are overjoyed with the above report and we want to keep rejoicing in God's amazing hand of healing and honoring the prayers of His people.  Please keep praying, but above all rejoicing in what God is doing!

Don't forget to keep checking back for the next update coming soon!

We love you all and God bless!
-The Gray Family

Sticking Yourself

Hey friends and family!!!!!

This is Aaron writing and have successfully returned from Southeast Asia, so I will be updating you all on how my father is doing for the time being.

Dad started his new treatment exactly one week ago and it is going fairly well.  The side effects have not been as bad as expected.  However, everyday he has been feeling a little worse.  He has to do a self injection once a week.  In addition he has to take two more medications with at least 20 grams of fat three times a day with a space of about 7-9 hours in between.  It's quite an interesting new process.  Trying to figure out all this new method left us in stitches late last Wednesday night.  Here are some photos below so you can join in the laughter:

As you can see, it was quite an endeavor for three half-brains to figure out to stick yourself.  He has had to go the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville for blood work Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday and this morning.  However, we did not realize that he was not supposed to take one of the medications before his appointments.  So they had to reschedule for this morning.  As I write this, they are currently in his first weeks appointment at Mayo Clinic.  We are praying for a good report and that the symptoms will get better than what they have been.  He has been sick for so long, yet we are rejoicing because things could be much, much worse.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and support.  More updates to come very soon!

-In Christ's love,
-Aaron and the Gray Family

Happy New Year to everyone.  We hope  you had a Merry Christmas.

  Aaron has been so great about keeping up this blog, but he is leaving tomorrow for YWAM (Youth with a Mission) in Tampa, FL.  He will be gone for 5 months so he showed me how to update the blog.  (Please be patient if some postings are weird. ) We will miss him terribly, but know God has led him there and that he will grow in the knowledge of the Lord and in his music ministry.  He has to raise his own support, and has managed to raise enough for the first 3 months internship in Tampa.  Then  they will go on the mission field for two months to Malaysia and Thailand.  He has composed a CD that he will be sending to anyone who has or will donate to his Mission Trip.

First, here are a few pictures taken on Christmas Day.  Mike decided to be Santa, much to the worry of our dog Sam.

And I saw some Christmas ornaments depicting music, which reminded me of Aaron.  But, of course, he decided to hang them from his ears rather than on the Christmas tree.

As you may have guessed, no one in our family poses for a normal picture.

I think having a sense of humor has helped carry Mike (and Aaron and I also) through some very tough weeks.  After Mike's prostate infection cleared up, he had a kidney stone start its LONG journey through the birthing canal (as one doctor put it).  Passing a kidney stone has been likened to giving birth as far as pain is concerned.  This one took two weeks.  Because the pain was so bad, Mike had to take pain pills.  No one told him every time he took a pain pill, to take stool softeners.  So...he then developed painful hemorrhoids.  He has been bed ridden for two weeks, but has kept his sense of humor and strong faith in God.  He started his intravenous alpha lipoic acid treatment on Monday, has had 10 treatments and will have 6 more next week.  We are believing these treatments will strengthen him enough to start the interferon treatments sometime in January.

So our Prayer Request to you is to heal the kidney stone pain, and hemorrhoids, and to strengthen him enough to start the long journey on interferon.  Apart from God just healing Mike, the interferon is the only hope to rid his body of Hep C.

We will keep you informed of his progress and would like to leave you with this uplifting scripture.
"God will keep you in perfect peace when your mind is stayed on Him, because you trust in Him."
Isaiah 26:3

Thank you for your support and prayers.  May God bless you richly.